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Ugh, 9 am is way too early on a Saturday to be up, showered, load of laundry on and already been out and back on an errand. Particularly when last night didn’t exactly feature 8 solid hours of sleep. Why not, I hear you ask.


Remember how I talked about my cats deciding to bleed me dry um, I mean develop new and interesting medical conditions? Well, the grey cat needed some follow up blood work to see how her thyroid and kidneys are going. So I called the vet yesterday to book her in. And the dreaded words were uttered. “She needs to fast.” Damn. Damn. Damn. So I dutifully booked her in for this morning and gave them dinner early last night then put them to bed and took the food away. That’s right, I took the food away. Now with two normal cats this might not be a drama but don’t forget I have the orange cat.

So I went to bed. About midnight the orange cat obviously realises there is no dried food in his bowl (I never said he was smart or maybe it takes four hours for the whiskas to be digested). He meows. I yell. He meows. I yell. He shuts up. Repeat on the hour until three am.

I try to figure out the logistics. I could put the grey cat in the bathroom with the litter tray, some cushions and some water but she would probably try to get out (and she’s not bad at opening doors). And the orange cat would undoubtedly protest that he was being locked out of the special room where SHE WAS HAVING FUN DON”T TRY TO FOOL HIM NOT FAAAAAIIIRRRRR.

Eventually I came up with let the orange cat out of the cats room, while leaving the grey cat in with her water only diet, give him some dried food and access to the back yard via the cat door and hope he doesn’t decide that ewww he couldn’t pee outside, he might like get dirt on his paws or something.

This shuts him up for about two hours. Five am he meows (obviously the food has run out or he thinks grey cat is having all the fun in their room and I’ve secretly given food even though he didn’t see me do it). I yell. He shuts up. He does it again at 6am, 7am, 7.30 and oh well, you get the picture. I am not well rested. I foresee napping in my day. Grumble.

Note to self, if cats need fasting, let them stay at the vet. In the meantime, the actual blood test process results in the grey cat and my credit card giving me pretty much the same disgusted look.

And now the orange cat has just thrown up the breakfast he bolted down to prove how hungry he was. Oy. And Vey and ONE ORANGE CAT GOING CHEAP.

Excuse me while I go clean cat puke.

Right, I’m back. Laundry sorted. Puke gone. Now I just have to wait for the stain to dry so I can use my super stain stuff on it. I don’t know what they put in cat food but the browny yellow stain sure looks fetching on my pale blue-grey carpet. At least it killed my appetite, so I don’t have to worry about not having had breakfast yet.

Where was I? Right. Being productive.

Yesterday I sent off my partial, wrote four pages of one book, one page plus six pages typed in to the computer from my notebook of another. Go me. Today I’m going to try and do some more. Amid scrubbing cat vomit from my carpet. That should produce some suitably romantic feelings : )

In other random weirdness, yesterday I was watching Oprah who was talking about debt (just as I was putting in a nice fat Amazon order to reward myself for the partial mailing – she made me take two books off the order to wait for a future date). Anyway, the ad for IceAge 2 came on. And it had the little rating thing down the bottom of the screen and it said “PG: mild sense of menace”. What? Is this something new in the ratings? Besides the fact that kids movies often have scary bits and that’s kind of the point in teaching ’em some stuff, what the frak (to borrow from BSG) does “mild sense of menace” mean? There’s a bad guy? There’s some scary critters (well, yes, it’s about prehistoric beasts including mammoths and sabretooth tigers)? You’re not sure what’s going to happen? Isn’t that the idea of a story? It just struck me as a very odd thing to state. What’s next? PG: Slight hint of hormones? PG: A suggestion of discord?

If they’re going to add these little hints to the ratings then why not make them actually USEFUL. You know, ‘like ‘PG: All the even slightly funny bits are in the trailer, don’t bother’. Or M: the only good bit is hot hunk taking his shirt off’. Or ‘PG: Complete massacre of the book, run away screaming’. Or ‘MA: This movie is actually good’. That sort of thing would be handy. Mild sense of menace isn’t.

And now I have to go write. Today this blog is rated: SSWWTOS (Slightly sleepy writer with touches of sarcasm). You can choose to view or not on that basis. Oh darn, this warning should’ve been up the top.

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